Florida must flood

I have been living in the great state of Florida for close to 3 months now and have experienced many of what the state has to offer, from the Beaches to the Theme Parks and even the Cuisine. But what I want to discuss are the reasons why I would never choose to live here when tennis is over. So here are 10 reasons...

1. It's wicked hot here. All year long. The seasons consist of Spring, Summer, Boiling, and Hell.

2. There are fountains in every lake or pond. Like what ever happened to Nature's own beauty or man-made beauty for that matter.

3. People drive crazy here. They ride your back bumper, they cut you off, they go through red lights. It's like the rules of the road (aka the Law) don't apply
to them.

4. Most women are made of either plastic, botox, silicone, or anything else that makes them look shiny. (Insert a favorite movie quote of mine) "You're plastic. Cold, shiny, hard plastic."

5. Everyone is constantly on their cell phones. I would like to have a conversation where we look each other in the eye and converse. I don't like when I am speaking and they are looking at their phone texting because I know the person isn't listening and that means I need to repeat myself, which I don't like to do.

6. Florida's official language is Spanish. I am no bueno at it even though I took it in college (which I failed). But Florida is part of the United States if I am not mistaken so where did the English go.

7. Did I mention the crazy drivers...

8. I can never watch my favorite sports teams (Patriots, Red Sox, Celtics) unless they are playing Miami or other Florida team.

9. Too many people, and people are always in a rush. Relax people and stop making babies. This world is over populated enough, it seems every one comes to Florida. I would rather vacation here for a few days but other then that get me the heck out of here!

10. My last and final reason I don't like Florida is because the rest of my family is not here. I am very family oriented and I miss seeing everyone each week. I live with my sister and I see my grandmother who lives down here every week or two which is great but I miss the others.

So for these reasons I want to have my own Island where I can decide what happens and who can come stay and visit then exile them when needed.